Farewell Little Shoebox

 



When I moved into this little shoebox studio shortly after my separation, I sensed immediately it had an energetic holding that would support the most difficult period of my life. Living here with my roommate has taught me a lot about the value of creating a space that connects me to beauty, peace, and spaciousness. The existence of these elements in my physical environment brings a sense of ease and safety to my mind and heart. My relationship with beauty has shifted quite meaningfully while living here. Things I used to overlook or defer to another are now supremely important to me. Having beautiful flowers at the table. Enjoying the charm of each furniture piece. Displaying unique art. Lighting candles and burning palo santo. Letting sunlight and fresh air through the windows. Playing soft music in the background. Making my bed. Tending to my altar and meditation corner. These seemingly simple practices have helped me center and turn inwards for refuge. 

My dining table pictured above is very special to me. When I lived with my ex, for years, I had wanted to replace our janky dining table. I brought up regularly if we could find something different. Compared to other things, it never became a priority. I would browse and browse for a new one but never followed through, leaving only myself dissatisfied. I'm working to forgive the version of me that gave away the agency to make that change myself, independent of his approval. My dining table was the first piece of furniture I found for my new place. Finding it symbolized a reclamation of my own power to create an external world that mirrors what I sought to cultivate in my inner world. 

My greatest lesson from living with myself in this sweet studio: I am fully capable of creating a truly sacred and authentic space that can meet my needs and hold my energy safely and preciously in all its forms. How I treat my physical environment reflects how I treat my internal environment. Now, more than ever before, I treat both environments with attention, sincerity, care, and kindness. Tonight is my last night in this special nest. When I moved in, I knew in my heart it would be an impermanent arrangement, just long enough to find myself again. Little shoebox, I bid you farewell with the deepest gratitude and appreciation. Thank you for holding me during the most painful moments and for letting me dance and be myself freely and joyfully.  

Click here to learn about where I'm headed... 

Comments

  1. MushimDecember 31, 2020 at 8:41 AM

    What a sweet reflection on courageously beginning anew in a sacred way.

    ReplyDelete

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