insight arising

The front door of our home slams shut. I slowly appear in the upstairs hallway to explore the post war damage. I stand still at the top of the stairs carefully peering over to see who and what remains.    No one in sight.  I crawl down six steps on all fours like a leopard watching her prey. Before the staircase spirals, I stop and sit alert for any movement or sound, midway down, to stare at the silence, which sat relieved in our living room. I look intently at the off white double doors with gold fixtures tightly shut, almost frowning as if they were fed up too. When is Ma coming back?  Fu, Lu, and Shou, the three old Chinese wise men representing good fortune and longevity, stand in front of the doors in porcelain form, staring right back at me. They don't know either.  At age 10, I didn't know that my normal wasn't normal. Regular family arguments erupted unpredictably. Explosive tempers. Glass plates thrown at walls. Knives pulled as threats to self harm. Striking slap

Dear Beloveds,   Today, I turn 34. Compared to past birthdays, I know far less about myself than I had imagined knowing as I enter this mid-summer season of my lifetime. Last year, my world as I knew it got flipped upside down. Instead of immediately flipping it upright again, as I normally would, I continue to gently shake this flipped world, rattling out all parts of me to be seen. From this upside down view, I gained a stunning perspective of an inner universe that I have yet to explore and understand. I am exactly where I need to be! Would you celebrate this new found universe with me? I invite you to consider donating to Youth Beat , a local organization that supports Oakland youth of color in learning how to tell their stories through digital media. Helping young people to tell their own stories is a way to support them in identifying and relating to their own universes, which is a foundational skill for inner exploration and discovery. My dear friend is a teacher here and works