Winter is Over

The snow is melting and the first signs of life are re-emerging. Small blades of grass and flowers are beginning to sprout through the remaining layers of icy slush. Earthly signs of a beautiful new genesis. 

Winter is over. 

The sun's warmth is here. She illuminates wonder upon the seeds that were planted. I look up at her, gently smiling. 

My life's longest stretch of winter is finally approaching its point of transition. 

Relief slowly comes over my body and my spirit begins to lift. 

After setting down the last bit of weight I was carrying, my hands are now fully free to shape and create life, allowing my spirit to transpire fully into the artistry of who I am.  In this new season, my intention is to continue integrating all parts of me. The opposing parts of me. The paradoxical parts of me. The renewing parts of me. The parts of me still developing. My aim is wholeness. Stepping bravely into wholeness, bringing together light and dark, deepening balance within, and bringing my gifts and talents fully into the world.   

For the last couple of years, I've been navigating this in between stage of myself. Not exactly the person I once was, but not fully the person I was walking towards. This in between version of myself was grieving, yet imagining possibility. She was in pain, but feeling more alive than ever. She didn't know where she was, but she wasn't rushing to find her direction either. My past self seemed so distant, yet my new self was still taking shape. 

More than two years ago, I set out on a journey because my soul felt empty and my heart was dry of love. Without knowing what would come, I spoke my intentions to reinvent myself into the universe by sharing very vulnerably with my community. 

The work to unravel my inner world since then has changed me at a cellular level. I have shed so much of myself. Layers of conditions, behaviors, and beliefs. I am no longer last on my list of what's important. My new skin is lighter, more flexible. No longer a full iron suit of armor. No longer needing to protect myself from suffering because I have already felt the worst of it. No longer letting fear dictate my choices. No longer misaligned with my greatest truths.  

I am speaking authentically. I am setting clear boundaries. I am taking emotional risks. I am creating. I am feeling. I am loving deeply. I am tending to myself. I am paying attention. I live in my body. I care less about what others think. I am prepared for pain. I am gentle with myself and the world around me. I am moving towards intimacy in each moment. I am finding my way slowly and patiently. I am healing. 

The seasons come and go in life. Different winters will surely arrive again. But for now, this long, harsh winter is over and today, the flowers are blooming with delight.  

In this new cycle, I feel more capable, more resourced internally, and more open to not knowing. I've taken a leap through a portal of transformation, and where I've landed is this beautiful new and tender becoming of the person I have always been. 

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