Who I was conditioned to be (and who I actually am)


Who I was conditioned to be as an Asian American woman -- by my mother, my origin family, Vietnamese tradition, the patriarchy, white supremacy and capitalism:  

Well behaved
Well mannered 
Accommodating 
Polite
Quiet
Timid, submissive  
Respectful of hierarchy 
Helpful 
"A good girl" 
Dutiful 
Accepting without questions  
Diplomatic / peace keeping 
Mentally strong at all costs 
Emotionally concealed 
Self-doubting
Modest
Agreeable with authority
Approval seeking 
Quietly competitive  
Cognitively driven 
Achievement/success oriented 

Who I actually am... and continuously evolving into as an Asian American womxn -- by my own terms: 

Kind, compassionate
Emotionally attuned 
Heart and body directed
Spiritually connected 
Mentally resilient based in self compassion
Curious 
Conscious
Humble 
Introspective 
Inclusive 
Creative 
A change agent 
Thoughtfully voiceful and militant (a.k.a. will mindfully take and give space as needed)
Respectful of the human condition
Sensitive, vulnerable 
Intuitive 
Fierce, brave 
Collaborative 
Impact / values / learning oriented 
Grounded within my inner world 
Community rooted 
Whatever the hell I want to be 

I am committed to practicing non-attachment with all of these ways and continuing to imagine what's possible beyond what I am today. 

Thank you to the API Womxn Healing group for supporting and co-creating this journey of healing and discovery. This post is dedicated to our shared connection and exploratory process. 

Comments

  1. afoihSeptember 22, 2020 at 3:29 PM

    hey there! A mutual friend of ours shared your blog with me...sounds like we're going through similar struggles so wanted to let you know you're not alone (I'm also Vietnamese American!)...anyway keep healing girl...that's the best we can do for ourselves and others. :)

    -Deanna

    ReplyDelete

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