some people won't ever see your heart

What you eventually realize is
some people won't ever see your heart; 
even when you show it to them. 
It is then you'll understand, they're still 
searching for their own. 

How many people in our lives do we choose to show our hearts to? Parents? Siblings? Partners? Friends? Co-workers? Strangers?

Who do you choose to reveal the wholeness of your heart? Your inner being? Your truest nature?

Why do you choose to reveal it to these trusted people in your life? Why do they get to see it?

Because your heart is wide open and capable of this vulnerability? Because you're longing to be seen? Because they too reveal their hearts to you? Because there is a safe space you've created to allow your hearts to breathe and be together?

Have you ever shown someone your heart but realized they couldn't see it? Hold it? Be with it?

What was that pain like to realize this? Where did it hurt? What did you blame? Did you understand it? Did you blame yourself? Did you blame them?

Could you see their heart? Could you hold it? Could you be with it?

How many of us are still searching for our own hearts? How many of us have found our hearts but struggle to keep them wide open? To keep them bare and uncovered by layers of old wounds and fear?

How many of us search and search but can't seem to find our hearts in any given moment? How many of us rely on others to find our hearts? How many of us rely on only ourselves to find our hearts?

How many of us, when we do find our hearts, treat them with attentiveness, tenderness, and full acceptance?

How many of us, when others reveal their hearts to us, treat them with attentiveness, tenderness, and full acceptance?

How many of us, because we are still searching for our own hearts, find struggle in seeing the hearts of others?

Are we aware of this struggle? Where does the struggle reside in our bodies? Where does the pain of this struggle stay hidden?


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Year of Dana

Last October, I went to a powerfully intuitive reiki practitioner, looking for a cleanse and realignment of the energy centers in my body. I needed her help to deal with my divorce grief. I had no idea what to expect, but walked away feeling upright, lighter, and energetic. Days after my second reiki, while sitting in meditation, I experienced an intimate moment of gratitude for someone I love deeply. Within minutes, I felt a rush of clarity and energy in my body. Just like that, the idea of living A Year of Dana came to me. After a few months of feeling the continuous energy of this idea in my heart and body, I finally decided to give notice to my employer. I am leaving my job of five years on April 3, 2020. Over the next year, I will be living A Year of Dana , focused on the practice of generosity towards myself and others. I will practice generosity through cultivating a heartset and mindset of abundance and dismantling my own mental conditioning around scarcity. My h
Read more

The Fear Series: I am too much to be loved

Image
Shoreline at Point Reyes Feeling.  Feeling has been my greatest power, yet my greatest source of suffering. I've been deeply sensitive since I was a small person. As a power, my feelings have enabled me as a natural empath who can pick up on nuanced, interpersonal dynamics and effectively support people emotionally. As a source of suffering, my feelings, left unseen, cause me to be unnecessarily defensive, difficult, and self-loathing. To deal with them, I tend to feel quickly, "process" quickly, and show it quickly. Part of the quick pace has been conditioned by my family.  My feelings represented weakness, disrespect, and a lack of gratitude. They needed to disappear as quickly as they came.  How could you be crying? What is there to cry about? We love you, we feed you, we house you, and we keep you physically safe. You're in America! It's not like you fled war! Save your tears for something worth crying for.  So, you might be thinking, well at least you can fee
Read more

You failed at your marriage

My mom said to me, you failed at your marriage.  It was unexpected. My mind didn't really register her words but my body started to react. I noticed some physical sensation but instead of pausing to let my mind catch up, I quickly moved into an intellectual response. I explained to my mom,  Ma, it's not really about success or failure. A lot of people stay in unhappy marriages and treat each other poorly. If you're seeing it from that lens, you wouldn't call that a successful marriage, would you? I didn't fail though. I loved and I learned. This is just life.  Somehow, I thought reframing would help. But it didn't. She said some things in return, but I was in such shock by her words that I don't recall the rest of the conversation. We hung up. She had no idea the impact of her words. I didn't either. I had to rush out of my place to catch Bart to the city. I started texting one of my best friends sharing what my mom said. My friend was in disbelief
Read more